The Same Ol' Situation
As you can probably tell from the tone and frequency of my posts, I am started to wear down here. We are all getting edgy. That, from my experience, is what happens when a group of people is in a high stress environment for an extended period of time with no real means to escape each other. Sometimes just the absence of people and noise is a welcomed break.
I have noticed in the last week or so, that the temperatures SEEM to be slowly decreasing. I haven’t taken note of the exact afternoon temperatures lately but it feels a SLIGHT BIT cooler in the afternoon. Another interesting tidbit is that I have noted feeling slightly chilly while walking back to my hooch from the shower the past couple of nights. As I arrive at my hooch I notice the thermometer reading 88 or 90 degrees. Chilly at 90? What? Am I out of my mind?
We have been having trouble with the HOOCHNET lately. The distance between the source and the HOOCHNET is about 200 meters. We really need a fiber cable and two fiber to CAT5 converters. If anyone can supply 200 meters of fiber and the converters, I would appreciate it. We could sure put them to good use!
Work has been steady and a bit overwhelming lately. We have several aircraft that have major inspection time intervals bunched up with each other. The result is pulling back to back to back to back services that usually take a day and a half to complete each one. Unscheduled maintenance (things that just break) don’t wait for the services to get done so we have to squeeze those repairs in as well. It’s all part of normal aircraft maintenance but the shortage of mechanics magnifies the issue and puts everyone on edge.
I heard on the news this morning that Ohio soldiers seems to be getting killed quite frequently and the newscaster said that it was producing a noticeable swing away from the Republican side for elected officials and representatives. Yea right! That’s a stupid statement. They immediately followed that comment with a woman (apparently on the street) saying “All of our soldiers are getting killed”. Please tell me that John Q. Public is not THAT stupid! While you’re at it, please explain why the news media believes that we are.
I spent about 30 minutes chatting with my son yesterday. Always a treat. He’s 14 and into the typical 14 year old stuff. Play Station 2, football, swimming, computers etc. I can’t tell you how much it uplifts me to be able to correspond with him in real time. Sometimes we talk on the phone but those times aren’t as frequent and usually I get responses like “yea” “nope” Nothing” and “I don’t know”. Anyway, he was telling me about this new Play Station video gaming system that he would like. It’s called PSP which stands for Play Station Portable. I checked it out and was shocked when I saw the price. That is ridiculous! It looks as though Sony is trying to corner the market on accessories as well. The prices are outrageous! Of course I haven’t actually experienced paying $2.39 for a gallon of gas either. Aren’t I deprived?
Well, I guess to sum this edition of Merlin’s BLOG, I would say that the movie “Groundhog Day” is still a close match to this deployment. All the days are the same!
Before I close I would like to say, once again, Thanks to the Soldiers Angels organization for their continued support to me and my fellow soldiers. You DO really make a difference! Please check them out and maybe offer your support. Whether it be a donation or joining in and becoming a Soldiers Angel, everyone benefits! You can find these good people at http://www.soldiersangels.org/heroes/index.php
So that’s about it from Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania or Northern Iraq. for now.
“MERLIN OUT!”
merlin@rixnet.net
In A Word...HOT!
WOW! Two months almost since I’ve made an entry here. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. I haven’t forgotten about the BLOG, I just felt like my days have been pretty much the same for so long. What is there to write about?
The weather is really, really, really hot. Those who know me are no doubt getting really, really bored of hearing me talk about the heat. Lately, the temperatures have been steadily surpassing 120 degrees. The wind is blowing usually at about 10 knots, it makes it almost unbearable. How would you like to live under a hair dryer? I can imagine when I go back to the States how cold I’ll be for the fist month or so. We have to wear gloves out on the aircraft when performing maintenance to avoid burning our hands. Now that’s HOT!
Speaking of going home, (always a favorite topic of discussion or debate, I am expecting that seemingly elusive date to be somewhere just before Christmas. That is looking the most promising. Still, I have been around this Army to know not to hold my breath. So many things could happen to change it. I find it best not to get my hopes up. I kind of trick myself into not getting too focused on packing up and leaving on a particular date because it may change and I don’t want my soldiers to slack off on their excellent performance. It’s kind of like hiding money from yourself. Does that make sense?
We have lost several soldiers in the last two months. They aren’t dead or even injured they just gave up. “Hitman” went on leave and never came back. He concocted some story about health issues and went running around trying to find a doctor to substantiate his claims. When that didn’t work he cited financial hardship. When that still didn’t get him out of returning he used some family domestic issues to rationalize not returning. The Army finally gave in and discharged him. “Kitchen” bent the truth (I’ll stop short of calling him a liar) about some papers that he signed volunteering to come on this deployment. The papers were lost and he claimed he’d never signed them. As a result he had to be sent home. “JET” volunteered to deploy with us despite his wife is having some pre existing health issues. He got tired of being here and used her situation to go home early. All three of these soldiers, in my opinion, have let us down. They gave their word that they’d serve and when the going got a little bit tough, they folded. That says a lot about personal integrity in my book. In my book, they have forsaken the team for their own, selfishness. Don’t get me wrong. I would feel this way if there was a legitimate reason for their return to the States. It’s a decision they will have to bear for the rest of their life.
A couple of months ago, A fellow soldier told me about a group called Soldier’s Angels. I went to their website and decided to sign up. Since then, they have sent me cards, letters and emails and recently, they sent me a couple of care packages with some very thoughtful gifts. Please take a moment to have a look at their website at: http://www.soldiersangels.org/heroes/index.php They are really doing a lot to help soldiers who are deployed and let them know that America cares about it’s warrior sons and daughters. Thanks to the Soldier's Angels!
For someone who hasn’t had much to say, this BLOG has gone on for quite a while. I have been asked countless time about the BOG and have received many encouraging thoughts. Please keep up your encouraging words coming. Sometimes, it’s the difference between a good day and a really rotten one. Thanks to all of you who keep nudging me forward.
From somewhere in Northern Iraq, STILL!
“Merlin Out”…Rodger that!
merlin@rixnet.net
Pressing on Over the Hump
It looks like we are finally heading out of the woods as far as maintenance goes. At least for the moment. We’ve had six or seven major aircraft services back to back for the last three weeks without a day off. The civilian contract maintenance teams have been making mistakes and errors in judgment costing valuable time. Aviation maintenance is a game of percentage. The percentage of flyable aircraft verses the percentage of broken aircraft must flow uniformly in order to avoid too much scheduled maintenance from coming due simultaneously. The missions don’t slow so a very delicate balance must be maintained to ensure mission capability. Sounds really technical doesn’t it?
The temperature has been steadily on the rise.. The average afternoon temperature this week has been somewhere close to 105. The humidity is low which makes things a little more tolerable. Water consumption is a must and I have to constantly remind my soldiers to consume plenty of water. Most of them will experience temperatures that they have never endured before. Most of them seem to take my concern lightly but I know, first hand, that a heat injury can be a very dangerous thing if the signs are not caught early. My 18 month stint in Egypt and my 9 months in the Gulf War have thankfully prepared me to notice the early signs of heat cramps, heat exhaustion and heat stroke.
I have managed to contract some internet service to be installed in our hooches. I surveyed on of the Kurds who runs a small convenience type shop on base, to procure a satellite internet system and install it in our living area. It should be installed within the next two weeks. I’m hoping that the service will provide the band width to make it worth our money. Some of the Hadji’s have over booked internet systems here resulting in sluggish performance and unhappy customers. One of the biggest challenges will be to convince the soldiers not to be bandwidth hogs. The fact that they paid their own money will no doubt lead them to believe that bandwidth is plentiful and as long as they get theirs, nothing else matters. We’ll just have to wait and see but I know it’ll be difficult to keep a handle on.
I’ve heard some disturbing news that I have yet to fully confirm. Apparently, It seems that the SC unit that we were attached to has manipulated the presentation of medals for my soldiers who helped rescue the crew of the C-130 that crashed here in December. Sources have said that since the SC Apache unit was in essence relieved from their mission here for failure to perform, they no longer feel the obligation to take care of the loose ends that were hanging when they left us here. In a nut shell, they have forsaken us and thus the medals fro my soldiers have been disapproved. This despite the fact that soldiers risked their very lives to enter a burning airplane to extract the injured and trapped crew. You can bet that I will not let this go without a fight. No matter what I have to do. No matter whose desk I have to stand, to get my point across. I will have my say! My soldiers will not be denied because of some political B.S. from a Lieutenant Colonel who is wallowing in his own misery and failures. (See March 11th BLOG entitled "To the Back of the Bus")
We’ve been here for quite a while and we are quickly assuming senior status on the base. We have been here longer than most now. We continue to press on over the hump. A little better than half-way though our deployment deep routed bonds have been made among our soldiers. Most of them won’t even recognize this fact until they are back in the States and they try to resume their normal lives and routines. War and long, difficult deployments have their way of creating bonds deeper than childhood friends or school mates. I’m not really sure why or how but my guess is that when you trust a group of people and rely on them to protect your flank, slamming on the brakes at the end of the deployment is a shock to ones emotions and deep routed sense of security. Separating from those who you’ve gone through so many tribulations with leaves a void in ones soul. A void that’s difficult for one outside the group to understand, much less fill. Most of my soldiers, I would venture to say, have no idea what’s coming and wouldn’t believe me if I told them. They just want to go home. I liken it to the nostalgic feeling of ones grade school days. If you’ve ever actually revisited a childhood school or neighborhoods, they tend to be much smaller and not quite what you remember them to be. Or maybe that’s just me.
That’s all for now. I’ll keep you informed on the latest and greatest as it progresses.
From Somewhere in Northern Iraq,
“MERLIN OUT”
Merlin@rixnet.net
Balancing the Yin and Yang
OK, OK, I know an update is LONG overdue. It’s been a long last couple of weeks! The action here has started to pick up again for several reasons. None which will be discussed here at the moment. Well, maybe just a little discussion.
As you may have noticed in the news lately, the intensity of the battle had picked up somewhat. It’s probably a coincidence that this is Saddam’s birthday. More of our soldiers were killed this week which is definitely bad news. Sad to say it but I usually just try to remove myself from that line of thought. It’s best if I not dwell on things like that. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel for their families. I suppose that may make me somewhat insensitive but I don’t need to add to my stress level.
The weather has been pretty nice with a couple of one hundred plus temperature days although the norm has been in the low 90’s. It hasn’t been too bad yet. But it’s coming. Today I was at the aerial gunnery range and it was a bit cold and rainy. The weather gets warm and then goes back to cool again. It’s not all that different from the mid western states right now.
Our quality of life has improved a thousand folds since the 101st arrived. They have been wonderful about following through with their promises to get us supplies that we need and with supporting us in our day-to-day operations. I am really impressed at their commitment and resolve. I know it’s partially because their Sergeant Major wants to be a gunner in a Blackhawk. Their Apaches have only two seats and spend more time being broken than they do flying. He seems to be a good guy so as long as he keeps taking care of us, he can have whatever he wants.
Yesterday “Rebar” flipped out and punched a hole in the pilot’s window. You’d have to go back to one of my first posts to read about him (See "Introducing the Home Team" Feb 01, 2005). Personally, I don’t think that he has the resolve or capacity to do this job. You see, I believe in a very simple theory. If you want to do something, you can do it. The resolve just has to be strong enough and you must be willing to sacrifice to achieve. When the sacrifice exceeds what you are willing to pay, then you quit. For whatever reason. I don’t believe its about financial status or social status. It about wanting something bad enough. Enough for the Chi commentary
Mother’s Day is on Sunday and I am glad that I had the opportunity to send flowers to my dad. It’s important to me that I send flowers because mom always liked them. It also provides a great deal of strength comfort to me. I miss her immensely. I guess that’s a credit to her, her life and the way she raised me.
I frequently find myself thinking about my dog Jess as well. For a second or two, I forget that she’s gone now too.
If you haven’t noticed, it’s easy to get depressed out here because there is so much time to do a great deal of thinking. Time that you would otherwise have filled with family or friends if it were not for being in Iraq. I have to be conscious to control these thoughts because they will get the best of me if I allow it. That would only sever to put me in a self – induced state of depression. I don’t need that and my troops certainly don’t need that. I am constantly reminded to perform frequent self analysis’s and control my mental state. It one of the self preservation techniques that the Army tries to teach. Most of the time I am successful.
Writing this BLOG is not only a good way to let friends and loved ones know what is going on here. It’s also good therapy.
The weekend looks much the same as most others have been. At least there is constancy! Sometimes, that’s a good thing!
My German friend Gert, left today. I'm a little miffed because he just told me that he was leaving about three weeks earlier than he had originally planned. Apparently, this morning he jumped a flight and is outta here. He didn't even tell us good bye. I have his contact info so he's not getting off that easily though.
For now, that’s about al of the deep thoughts that I can muster at this hour. It’s getting late and I have to get up early.
Thanks to those who follow my BLOG. I’ll try to get back and put “pen to paper” sooner next time.
From somewhere in Northern Iraq,
“MERLIN OUT!”
Merlin@rixnet.net
Third Grade Inspiration
This past Sunday was my 39th Birthday. Celebrating it here in Iraq was better than I had anticipated. I received several E-cards from family and friends and even received a card in the mail from my father. Yes, the military postal system actually came through this time and got me a card on time. The little things in life always make the difference.
A civilian friend of mine, who works in the mess hall, actually baked a cake for me complete with the Happy Birthday and everything. I was surprised to say the least.
The rest of the week went quickly without too much excitement. Sometimes I find myself wishing for some excitement to get the adrenaline rush going. I know it’s sort of weird but war is 5% excitement and 95% boredom.
I should clarify “boredom” before you think all I do is sit around and smoke water pipes and look at camels. Boredom is doing the same thing day in and day out. Remember the movie “Groundhog Day”? The helicopters break and we spend countless hours fixing them. I am starting to participate in more maintenance test flights lately though. Boredom is the mess hall (as good as it is) having the same food day after day after day. Boredom is going back to my 10’ x 20’ Hooch at night and falling asleep still in my uniform with my boots on.
Some of the other bases in country have USO shows and other things to do. No USO tours come here because we are still relatively small and are so far to the north. I suppose I shouldn’t complain. I could be knocking on doors in Mosul instead. Sometimes I think it would be a rush to actually do that for a day. Then I wake up and remind myself that I am an aviation soldier and should leave that stuff to the grunts. Those guys are pretty remarkable to say the least. (I still would like to do it though).
Today I received an envelope full of letters with pictures from my nephew’s third grade class. I was pleasantly surprised as it was a very kind gesture on the part of the class and I feel it’s important to reinforce their patriotism. Funny, I never really considered myself a role model to anyone but my son. Now that I think about it, everyone does love G.I. Joe unless you’re on the business end of the weapons. I am trying to think of an idea to return the favor. Something that will make the kids realize how insirationl their letters were. The letters came at a good time as the middle of a tour like this is typicly the time when everyone really gets tired of it.
When the main body of our unit departed here a couple of weeks ago with the Apaches, we were told by the Battalion Commander that we, the Blackhawk detachment staying here, were still a part of the unit and would still be supported as such. They would do anything possible to take care of us and get us the necessary supplies we needed. This week we found out that that statement was just like the rest of the crap the Apache leadership has been feeding us since day one. Two days ago we learned that we are now attached to the 101st Airborne and that was the plan all along. Being a leader, especially a Lieutenant Colonel, means that you must earn the respect and trust of your team and strive daily to do the right thing. Team must have a different meaning in South Carolina because these guys don’t know the first thing about cohesion.
Being attached to the 101st has turned out to be a blessing. We have seen sweeping changes and overwhelming support from these guys since the day they set foot on this camp. From the guys on the flight line to the supply soldiers, the refueler’s, the First Sergeant, the Company Commander, the Battalion Command Sergeant Major all the way to the Battalion Commander.; these guys have been doing everything possible to help set us up for success. For now, it looks like things may have turned in our favor. These 101st guys are Apache guys, but they wrote the book on the TEAM concept. Maybe things will be alright after all. Since the 101st guys are based out of Fort Campbell, which straddles Kentucky and Tennessee, they feel a special bond with our unit.
For now, I’ll just put the Margarita machine on order and maybe with a little luck, we can cut down on the boredom just a little. I’m not holding my breath though.
From somewhere in Northern Iraq,
“MERLIN OUT”
merlin@rixnet.net
PINK ELEPHANTS WEARING TUTU’S
The weather is continuously getting warmer. Today was the warmest yet. I imagine it was somewhere close to 85 degrees Fahrenheit and the sun was pretty hot while working outside of the hangar. It reminded me that I need to start watching my soldiers more closely and brief them often about dehydration, heat exhaustion, heat cramps and heat stoke and how consuming massive amounts of water daily will help ensure that they are able to effectively cope with the hot weather and this environment.
Progress on our new operating environment without a parent unit and within a stones throw of the 101st Airborne is moving along. A unit like the 101st always brings problems as well as benefits. I was told that today the new Sergeant Major set up a road block here on the airfield and was stopping soldiers who were driving vehicles and checking drivers licenses, seat belts and a myriad of other things to include making sure that their chin straps on their helmets were snapped. I agree that these things are important but I think a road block is a little over the top. That’s a pretty good example of what the Army has come down to these days though. There is so much light cast on the most minute details and so much micro management that nobody even notices the pink elephant tiptoeing around the corner in a tutu. I have observed what seems to be a need to validate ones self by thumbing one's nose at soldiers with less rank as if rank was an indicator of competency. The only logic that will ever be given for that comment is “That’s the Army.” It’s a constant “willy waving contest” to see whose is the biggest without consideration to common sense or tactical efficiency. Preacher calls it the "Monkey Trap". The monkey will reach into the trap to retrieve a piece of fruit. Once in hand, the fruit won't fit out of the hole that he just stuck his hand through to get it. Once in his grasp, the monkey will never release the fruit to release his hand. I'd say that's a pretty good assessment!
I haven’t seen hide nor hair of Tuesday since lat week. He probably found a new home. At least that’s the assumption that I’m going to make.
One of our Crew Chief’s, “Kitchen” brought us some Pizza Hut pizza from down South near Baghdad. He took the time to go buy it for us on one of his stops today. It was a welcomed treat for the team and it disappeared rather quickly. Sometimes it’s nice to have helicopters. Other times, it really sucks. Like when they're broken!
That’s about it for today’s edition. I hope this posting finds you all well and I want to thank you for your support and prayers. It’s the support that we get from John and Jane Q Public that helps me get through some of these days.
From Somewhere in Northern Iraq,
“MERLIN OUT!”
Merlin@rixnet.net
Tuesday's Gone
Again,
It’s been a while since I have sat down to add to my BLOG. Life here in Northern Iraq is on the fast track lately and I’ve just not taken the time to write. So, never mind the excuses. Let’s get to it.
The weather is spring like here. The sky is blue and cloud free for the most part, every day. The temperature is about 50 in the morning when I set out to work and reaches somewhere between 70 and 80 degrease during the day. It’s actually been nice to be outside.
Our parent unit has finally begun to leave. By next week, they will all be gone but we are pretty much on our own now. Independence at last! The new, incoming unit has already pledged to support us above and beyond what the South Carolina guys ever thought about. Time will tell if they actually deliver but I prefer (believe it or not) to be optimistic. Experience has taught me to be very conservative with expectations. Empty promises come our way like bees to honey so I am usually very skeptical. We’ll just have to wait and see. Time will tell.
The last couple of days I have had the opportunity to tune in to KPRC Talk radio in Houston, Texas, via internet streaming. When I lived there, KPRC was always tuned in on my vehicle’s radio. Although, my access to the web is usually very limited, yesterday and today have been exceptions. I have used this opportunity to listen to some talk radio and catch up on some news. It’s really been refreshing. Just in case your interested, you can have a listen at the following address: http://kprcradio.com/audio.html#
A couple of months ago, my uncle introduced me, via email, to a woman in New York who wanted to send my unit some books from the Brooklyn Library. Recently, these books have started flooding in and they are going like hotcakes. Thanks to the Brooklyn Library and all of the Americans like my uncle’s friend for being so supportive of the troops here in Iraq and Afghanistan. We need your support and it certainly makes life here more tolerable.
The weeks seem to be going faster now. Faster than a snails pace at least. The soldiers who I work with are noticeably tired and worn out. As you may recall, I said that something must give before we all reach our breaking point. Last night we had a meeting regarding our efforts and progress. Our leaders have finally decided that we should throttle back a little and shorten our duty day. Next week, we are going to attempt to go to two eight hour shifts. I’ll believe it when I see it but as you may imagine, it would be a welcomed change. I’m not even sure what I would know what to do if I wasn’t working 15 or 16 hours per day. Maybe I can finally stop living in constant crisis management. Maybe I can actually get some other things done and not be chained to the Blackhawk hangar. Like I said, we’ll see about that. For some time, I have wanted to set up a web site to post some of the photos that I have taken here. That will be near the top of my agenda for my “extra” time.
We are still in need of computer and network equipment to support the HOOCHNET. Last week we zapped another router which was part of the reason for my delayed posts to the BLOG. When it rains, for some reason, an electrical current seems to flow through the network cable and starts zapping network devices. I can’t quite figure it out but nothing much surprises me about this place. Any five minute task, takes an hour to accomplish here.
Several days ago, I was given an ultimatum regarding the dog I found. I was told to either let "Tuesday" loose or turn him in to be destroyed. He came to me in my time of hurt and I can say positively that he helped me cope with the loss of my dog. I fed Tuesday, untied his rope and he trotted carelessly down the flight line with his tongue hanging to one side and a definite bounce in his step. I think he enjoyed his short stay with us. I’m only sorry he never had the chance to go for a flight with us. Bon Voyage Tuesday!
Well, I guess that’s about it for this edition. It’s time to get some rest. I need to recharge my batteries.
Form somewhere in Northern Iraq,
“MERLIN OUT”
merlin@rixnet.net
